Friday Fictioneers – 24 October

It’s Friday Fictioneers time and it’s good to have time this week to play. Check out the blog run admirably by Rochelle Wiseoff-Field to learn all you need to know about Friday Fictioneers. From there you can link to the other stories inspired by the following photo.

copyright - The Reclining Gentleman

copyright – The Reclining Gentleman

The Rendez-vous

On a winter’s morning I turn up at the lake half an hour early with my neighbour’s dachshund for disguise. The wind nips my gloveless fingers and makes my eyes stream. The clouds hold onto their rain.

I attempt inconspicuousness, a common dog walker, in spite of the mutt whimpering and pulling for home, and even though the father I’m meeting doesn’t know me. Rejection has become my choice.

After an hour no one has come into the park. No one sat on the third bench from the corner in front of the nature display.

The dog howls, the clouds cry and I still wait.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in fiction, Short stories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Friday Fictioneers – 24 October

  1. I enjoy being alone.It’s quite a realistic description of the weather

  2. Margaret says:

    Such dejection coupled with resignation – I suspect she knew he wouldn’t show, and it’s not the first time, but she never gives up – it’s ‘her choice’. Maybe she’s better off without him. This is such a good representation of this person’s life story. Lovely.
    Cheers
    Marg

  3. dianathrelfo says:

    A deep and thoughtful take on the prompt, Karen … very sad too. I particularly love the last sentence.

  4. Maree Gallop says:

    I felt her apprehension, anticipation and pain. Such a moving story and I love that the ‘clouds cry’ – brilliant! Beautifully written, as always!

  5. Sandra says:

    I felt so very sorry for them both, the narrator and the daschund. Well done.

  6. Dear Karen,

    I felt the cold chill, both emotionally and physically, in your descriptions. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  7. “I still wait” – you capture the loneliness and pain of rejection perfectly.

  8. storydivamg says:

    The chill of the scene reflects the emotion of your story. Nicely imagined.

    MG

  9. Oh yes. Sergei from my story has been delayed … alas it’s not easy to slip by the sea… wonderful how the stories could match up.

  10. Karen, you got so much hope, sadness, and rejection in just these few words. Well done.

    janet

  11. I appreciate the way you used the weather in your story. Also the dog pulling for home. I kind of feel like the woman wants to go home, too. Wherever that is.

    • Ohh, thank you for picking up that she wanted to go home but she also wanted to stay in case he came. I wasn’t sure that transferred to her from the dog. Thanks for your confirming comment!

  12. It certainly must be an important assignment.

  13. Lovely atmosphere in this piece. And I like how the clouds mirror her internal feelings – subtly done.
    Claire

  14. Fabulous, Karen. I love that the cloud held onto its rain before weeping at the appropriately dramatic time. Classy!

  15. subroto says:

    A moving story that captured the bleakness inside her very well.

  16. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Karen, I feel the hopelessness of her and now she is hoping to meet her father and no one shows up. Bummer! I feel so sorry for her and life just isn’t fair. Pretty smart to show up with a borrowed dog as a disguise. VERY WELL WRITTEN Karen! Love it, Nan 🙂

  17. Karen, Great description. The weather mirrors her feeling of rejection. I can’t see her giving up though. It doesn’t seem in her nature. Well written as always. — Susan

  18. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Karen,

    The dog is a Dachshund and spelled that way. The rest of your story is sad and drear, as you intended it to be, and very well written. Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s