It’s Friday Fictioneers time and it’s good to have time this week to play. Check out the blog run admirably by Rochelle Wiseoff-Field to learn all you need to know about Friday Fictioneers. From there you can link to the other stories inspired by the following photo.
On a winter’s morning I turn up at the lake half an hour early with my neighbour’s dachshund for disguise. The wind nips my gloveless fingers and makes my eyes stream. The clouds hold onto their rain.
I attempt inconspicuousness, a common dog walker, in spite of the mutt whimpering and pulling for home, and even though the father I’m meeting doesn’t know me. Rejection has become my choice.
After an hour no one has come into the park. No one sat on the third bench from the corner in front of the nature display.
The dog howls, the clouds cry and I still wait.
I enjoy being alone.It’s quite a realistic description of the weather
Thanks for reading, Larry.
Such dejection coupled with resignation – I suspect she knew he wouldn’t show, and it’s not the first time, but she never gives up – it’s ‘her choice’. Maybe she’s better off without him. This is such a good representation of this person’s life story. Lovely.
You’re right, Margaret. I think she suspected he wouldn’t show. Thanks so much for your comments.
A deep and thoughtful take on the prompt, Karen … very sad too. I particularly love the last sentence.
It was a sad picture with the emptiness and the cold bleak weather – a mood photo. Good photo, Reclining Gentleman. Thanks for reading, Diana, and for your kind comments.
I felt her apprehension, anticipation and pain. Such a moving story and I love that the ‘clouds cry’ – brilliant! Beautifully written, as always!
Thank you for that wonderful feedback, Maree.
I felt so very sorry for them both, the narrator and the daschund. Well done.
Ha, love your comment, Sandra. The poor daschund does have a bad time of it. Thanks for reading.
I felt the cold chill, both emotionally and physically, in your descriptions. Nicely done.
I’m so pleased I was able to make you feel the atmosphere and the character’s pain. Thanks for your comment, Rochelle.
“I still wait” – you capture the loneliness and pain of rejection perfectly.
That’s what I was hoping to capture, so thank you very much for your comment.
The chill of the scene reflects the emotion of your story. Nicely imagined.
It was a deserted and chilly photo and I’m thrilled you saw that reflected in my story, Marie Gail.
Oh yes. Sergei from my story has been delayed … alas it’s not easy to slip by the sea… wonderful how the stories could match up.
Our stories sit well together – two sides of the coin. Thanks for reading mine, Bjorn.
Karen, you got so much hope, sadness, and rejection in just these few words. Well done.
Thank you, Janet. Your comment has made my day.
I love this!
I appreciate the way you used the weather in your story. Also the dog pulling for home. I kind of feel like the woman wants to go home, too. Wherever that is.
Ohh, thank you for picking up that she wanted to go home but she also wanted to stay in case he came. I wasn’t sure that transferred to her from the dog. Thanks for your confirming comment!
It certainly must be an important assignment.
Yes, meeting a father she doesn’t know is important. Unfortunately, neither the dog nor the father agree with her. Thanks for visiting, Dawn.
Lovely atmosphere in this piece. And I like how the clouds mirror her internal feelings – subtly done.
Thanks, Claire. I wondered if that weather thing was a little overdone. I’m glad you liked it.
Fabulous, Karen. I love that the cloud held onto its rain before weeping at the appropriately dramatic time. Classy!
Thanks, Joanna. Ohh, classy. I’ll accept that!
A moving story that captured the bleakness inside her very well.
Thanks very much for reading, Subroto.
Dear Karen, I feel the hopelessness of her and now she is hoping to meet her father and no one shows up. Bummer! I feel so sorry for her and life just isn’t fair. Pretty smart to show up with a borrowed dog as a disguise. VERY WELL WRITTEN Karen! Love it, Nan 🙂
As far as her father goes, life hasn’t been very fair to her. You so astutely read the situation, Nan. Thank you so much for your comment.
Karen, Great description. The weather mirrors her feeling of rejection. I can’t see her giving up though. It doesn’t seem in her nature. Well written as always. — Susan
You’re right, Susan, she isn’t giving up, and it would be very hurtful to be stood up like that. I’m so glad you came for a visit.
The dog is a Dachshund and spelled that way. The rest of your story is sad and drear, as you intended it to be, and very well written. Good job.
Thanks for your kind comment, Doug. And for picking up my spelling mistake. I’ll fix it now.