The Land – Friday Fictioneers

Every Friday writers from around the world contribute 100 word stories prompted by a photograph supplied by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields to Friday Fictioneers. Everyone is welcome to contribute and we love comments on our stories.

Copyright - Danny Bowman

Copyright – Danny Bowman

The Land

In the beforetime people lived in a land thick with figs, sassafras, and palms. One day a young girl washing her hair in the lake saw a red stranger, his eyes flaming with desire.

She scrambled into the rainforest and hid under a curtain fig.

The man made the ground tremble to shake her out. She clung to the roots.

His red hair flamed. The canopy ignited. She cowered lower.

He opened his mouth. Molten earth spewed forth, incinerating everything: the forest, the lake, the people.

To this day nothing grows there. One rock in the shape of a crouching girl remains.

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56 Responses to The Land – Friday Fictioneers

  1. lewiscave says:

    My mind was going in a different direction after “his eyes flaming with desire” I like you ending much better.

  2. Diana Threlfo says:

    Karen, I love the way your creativity has come to the fore through the process of reflection about a rather nondescript photograph. To me, the story is reminiscent of the American Indian legends or the Dreamtime stories. In addition, every word is loaded with meaning. Beautiful.

    • I’m thrilled you saw the connection between the dreamtime stories and my story, Diana. The Australian Aboriginal people tell such wonderful stories about place so I took the liberty of making up a myth about how this ancient landscape may have been formed. Thank you for your wonderful comment.

  3. This is beautiful Karen! Did you come up with this story yourself? It sounds so real and timeless, as if it’s been passed through generations. I can see the small girl in the rock too now… Brilliant!

  4. Jan Brown says:

    What a marvelous build-up of tension, followed by an equally marvelous ending!

  5. This was great Karen I really enjoyed your take on the photo, well done.

  6. symplysilent says:

    Karen, I love it. Silent

  7. Sandra says:

    Nice bit of misdirection at the beginning. Well done.

    • What a thwarted man will do for revenge! Or did he always have destruction in mind? Guess they both amount to the same thing in the end. Thanks for reading and commenting, Sandra.

  8. MrBinks says:

    Nice imagery!

  9. Horus says:

    Wow ! excellent interpretation of the image ! I like the crouching girl image !! Superb !

  10. K.Z. says:

    such a wonderfully woven tale… it felt like a real ancient myth.

  11. Karen, it has the feel of a real myth and reminds me of the story of how Devil’s Tower, Wyoming supposedly came into being (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devils_Tower.) I like this very much.

    janet

    • Hi Janet. Thanks for the link to Devil’s Tower. What an impressive structure! I love the myth about how it was formed. Thanks for reading and commenting on my myth.

  12. Maree says:

    Karen, this story is wonderful. It is a work of art. I’m sure this legend will be told for many years now!

  13. atrm61 says:

    What a creative take on the prompt-loved it!

  14. A great piece of mythology. Well done.

  15. I got an aussie dreamtime feeling from your story and then I saw other people who commented did too. It contained a lot of rich imagery and metaphors.

  16. pattisj says:

    Totally unexpected unfolding of your story. Nicely done.

  17. Dear Karen,

    A stellar piece of myth writing. It’s fun to read in the comments that this sprang from your own imagination. It feels like folklore. Bravo!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  18. Hala J. says:

    I agree with Rochelle, it has a very folk tale feel to it–and it’s great! I also like how it wasn’t predictable, and was written in a way that could easily be taken metaphorically. Well done!

  19. subrotop says:

    This is exquisite. What a fabulous legend that you have created. It truly has the feel of Dreamtime stories.

  20. storydivamg says:

    I like this, Karen. Its rare to see such a literal take on the story prompt. I find your style fresh and the apocalyptic spin unique.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  21. JudahFirst says:

    I love the story form you put this in. Great job!

  22. This reads as a myth.. I love that.. interestingly we both went into mythology… hmm.. yes the pillar looks like a person.

  23. Great fable writing, and I agree with Bjorn that this has the feel of mythology.

  24. Amy Reese says:

    I love this mysterious tale. I agree with Bjorn and Ron, it reads like a fable or a myth. Great!

  25. I’ve always loved mythology and fables. You’ve really taken this prompt to a creative, fun place, Karen. I really enjoyed this one!

  26. Lovely and imaginative story. It does truly sound like one of the myths of native people. Very well written. It leaves a mind picture for the reader.

  27. Brilliant twist, very-well written.

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