Friday Fictioneers – 21st February

Every Friday writers from around the world contribute 100 word stories prompted by a photograph supplied by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields to Friday Fictioneers. Everyone is welcome to contribute and we love comments on our stories.

copyright - David Stewart

copyright – David Stewart

Waiting

We wait in silence for the bell. Jordan on the floor propped against our mother’s bed so he won’t accidently see her. He closed her eyes; he obviously doesn’t want her looking at him either. He’s flicking the hole in the knee of his trews.

I don’t say, stop it. I’d sound too much like her.

I’m on the stool we put beside her bed when she became feverish. I can’t look away. Her skin is as waxy as a candle. I try to hold my tears so she’ll burn quicker when they light her.

We wait for the rumble of the cart. And the bell.

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45 Responses to Friday Fictioneers – 21st February

  1. I had to read this a number of times and was still uncertain what she had that she would be burned, then I saw the mention of plague in your tags. But I felt the horror the entire time.

    janet

  2. MrBinks says:

    Powerful stuff. A real sense of setting. Nice work.

  3. atrm61 says:

    How horrible-the bell and the cart-shudder!How traumatic it must have been!Well told:-)

  4. helenmidgley says:

    That was powerful 🙂

  5. “The rumble of the cart”. Powerful imagery!

    • Sound seemed to be such an important part of this prompt for me. Probably because as soon as we read about bells the first thing we think of is the sound. Thanks for your comment, Dawn.

  6. Karen, this is gorgeous! I love the line: ” I try to hold my tears so she’ll burn quicker when they light her.” So powerful! I could feel this room, and the kids sitting beside their mother. Bravo!

  7. plaridel says:

    a great story. i felt every word.

  8. Excellent, by far my favourite story this week.

  9. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, the bell and the cart. Ominous sounds of sadness. Well done.

  10. Wow. That packs a real punch. Really well done!

  11. K.Z. says:

    i had goosebumps. sad and terrifying at the same time.

  12. That was raw – and I can certainly identify with the not wanting to look at a loved one that has just died. I never understood until I witnessed it myself, that their spirit really does leave (or what we see as the ‘them’ part of their physical being), and it is just a haunting shell that has left. You captured that very well.

  13. A story with powerful images that take us back to a sad time. It sounds as though their father had possibly died before since the children had to wait with their mother’s body.

  14. What a horror that must of been. But then that’s how the Vikings rid themselves of their dead.

  15. Waiting in the plague.. what horror… well told

  16. rgayer55 says:

    What a horrible time that must have been. You captured it well and allowed us to experience the personal pain of those involved. Well done, Karen.

  17. Dear Karen,

    Raw and powerful. You captured the time and feel with skillful brevity. Bravo!

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  18. This was a graphic insight into the era of the plague, the cart and the bell, you have written it very cleverly, the imagery clearly depicting the horror of that era. Well done Karen.

  19. znjavid says:

    Powerful writing. You created the scene so well I could feel the sorrow. Well done.

  20. storydivamg says:

    A sadly little vignette. I could see everything so clearly.

    Kind regards,
    Marie Gail

  21. A very touching story. I can feel the children’s sadness!

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