Friday Fictioneers – November 15

Every Friday writers from around the world contribute 100 word stories prompted by a photograph supplied by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields to Friday Fictioneers. Everyone is welcome to contribute and we love comments on our stories.

copyright - Kent Bonham

copyright – Kent Bonham

The Passage

Her tiny hand flexes and brushes against my finger, and she grasps it instinctively for the first time. Her palm is still damp with vernix.

Just moments before she had been dragged by forceps from the warm intimacy of my womb into a raw startling world, and I passed through the passage from girl to motherhood.

I look down at her swollen closed eyes, the red marks on either side of her skull and her fingers curled desperately around mine. And my throat swells with such fierce love, and a responsibility so heavy, I can hardly breathe.

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34 Responses to Friday Fictioneers – November 15

  1. Diana Threlfo says:

    Another beautifully sensitive piece, with such a clever treatment of the concept of a passage.

  2. Dear Karen,

    This is incredibly beautiful and the embodiment of writing what you see rather than what you’re looking at. “…passage from girl to motherhood.” You told a whole story in that one phrase.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. Margaret jackson says:

    I am awed by your concept, and how beautifully you have expressed it in so few words. And you do that week after week. This has touched my heart and drawn me into precious memories.

  4. Very tender and vividly told story of real motherhood. And a very interesting metaphor for the passage we see in the photo. Very very well done.

  5. helenmidgley says:

    Beautifully done 🙂

  6. Beautiful sentiment that any mother will recognize.

  7. rgayer55 says:

    I got a lump in my throat on the last line. A beautifully written piece that resonates with all mothers.

  8. I always love when people take the photo and write something based on the spirit of it; that is, they are inspired rather than try to literally interpret “what’s going on in this photo”. These are the tales that usually stand out for me, and yours is no exception — this was lovely, darling.

  9. mahjira says:

    Wow, such a beautiful story! I love the line “from girl to motherhood” and the passion in your words in the last paragraph. Very powerful and lovely.

  10. kz says:

    this is so beautiful.makes me want to experience the whole thing.i like the direction you took with the photo 🙂

  11. Karen, coming late to the comment party, I can but echo the praises above me and add that your title works perfectly, too. The mom in me salutes you.
    janet

  12. From one mum to another, thank you, Janet.

  13. This is just beautifully written.. love you took a passage less obvious.

  14. atrm61 says:

    A beautiful take on the prompt and a [passage all mothers look back on with pride and happiness:-)

  15. zookyworld says:

    An amazing story that brought on passages much different from the photo. Such powerful writing to describe emotions of a first-time mother, that love and responsibility. Beautifully done.

  16. AnElephant finds this touchingly wonderful.

  17. Fierce love and heavy responsibility… perfect! I read this with my baby in my arms and tears ran down my cheeks. You’ve done a spectacular job in capturing the moment in just 100 words.

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